Before I had kids, I knew there'd be some lowering of my usual, acceptable levels of hygiene. I just did not realise how low the bar was going to drop...here's some of the most disgusting things I do or accept now I'm a mum.
1. Showering does not happen as much as it should. Some weeks, nowhere near enough. Pre-kids, I showered every morning. Post-kids I very rarely shower in the morning. In between refereeing World War 3 and trying to pack both my bag and their bag, there's just no time. If I do manage a shower, it's once they're in bed. So honestly, I shower 3ish times a week. Pre-kids me would be horrified at this. Post-kids me thanks the world for dry hair shampoo.
2. Wiping arses is so rank. I mean, obviously I knew I'd have to do this, but I thought about it in a baby/nappy way. I did not consider the horror that is wiping the arse of a toddler who's just done a grown-man sized turd. And then there's the whole having to clean the potty out afterwards. Oh man - I did not sign up for this shit (literally).
3. Sleeping in sheets that a child has weed on happens. Exhaustion is to blame for this. I know it's minging, and I know it basically means I smell faintly of wee the next day, but some days I just do not have the energy to change them.
4. Wiping snot with my hand is a likelihood. In an ideal world, I'd use a tissue or wipe. This is not an ideal world. Some days, I have neither. Or, I don't have the energy to get them out of my bag for the 223rd time. Either way, I swipe my hand under their nose and then quickly wipe my hand on my jeans. Gross, I know.
5. Living with rotting food in my car is an unavoidable reality. My car has always been a bit of a rubbish tip. Add two toddlers to the equation and it just spirals. Rotting apples, mouldy biscuit crumbs and sticky half chewed and spat out Haribo line the floor of my car. Every so often I attempt to make it better. I soon realise that the effort it takes to get it clean is just not worth it because they almost immediately mess it up again. Little buggers.
6. Eating chewed up and spat out food doesn't even gross me out anymore. If either of my children half eats something then spits it out, and there is not a bin to hand, I'll just eat it. It's easier and, when you're a lone wolf, you have to eat whenever you get the chance. Plus, they've done part of the work for you already.
Parenting: where eating chewed up and spat out food is winning.
Haha! Definitely relate to some of those - the mouldy food in the car thing particularly struck a chord. My car is also a spare wardrobe for coats, shoes, wellies, hats, jumpers...I could go to a bootfair without packing anything and make a good profit. Dry hair shampoo is also a winner here. I always buy my friends a can as part of their baby shower gift! Thanks for sharing #BlogCrush
ReplyDelete